What do women want in a man and how to be a modern gentleman?

Dating today has changed from the days of yore. We swipe right instead of exchanging handwritten love letters. We meet at bars instead of being picked up. We go dutch on dates instead of expecting the man to pick up the check all the time. And while dating etiquette needs to change with the times too, there are certain traditions, particularly those related to romance and respect, that never go out of style.

Being a gentleman today doesn’t have to be difficult. It’s simply holding higher standards for yourself and making the effort to establish trust and intimacy within your connections. It means consistently demonstrating respect and attention towards the object of your affection so that you set yourself apart from the rest of the modern Neanderthals.

A gentleman is a man who has good and respectful conduct. Some people see the word gentleman as a status that some men need to achieve, making them worthy partners and lovers.

Also, a gentleman has some traits that distinguish them from other men, so they are highly sought after. Becoming a gentleman will always remain relevant over time, and you can become one if you invest in your attributes and character.


Here are some tips on how to be a modern gentleman in the modern age.

Chivalry with a modern twist

While traditional chivalry focused on men taking care of women, modern chivalry is about being courteous and considerate to all people, regardless of gender. Hold doors open for everyone, not just women. Offer your seat to someone in need, and practice good manners in all situations.

Respect and equality

Treat your partner as an equal, recognizing their thoughts, feelings, and opinions as important as your own. Respect their boundaries, consent, and personal space. Always ask for and obtain consent before engaging in any intimate activity.

Don’t back down on your words

One of the gentleman rules in the relationship is to always live up to your words. You need to be someone who does whatever they say without any excuses. If you make a promise, do your best to live up to it. When you always fulfill your words, you will gain more respect and credibility from your partner and those around you. To be a modern gentleman, always remember that your word is your bond, and you have to live up to every commitment you’ve made.

Be polite when you are in the public

How do you behave when you are with your partner in public? To learn how to be a modern gentleman in a relationship, always treat strangers with respect. If anyone offends you unknowingly, try to react politely even if you are angry.

Be a great listener

In a relationship, always remember that beyond hearing what your partner has to say, always listen to them. When you listen to your partner, it would be easier for you to make meaningful contributions when the needs arise.

Also, your partner might not even need your input; they want to be sure that you listen to them. This alone has a positive impact on their psychology. So, to know how to be a gentleman in a relationship, be a partner that lends a listening ear.

Thoughtful gestures

Surprise your partner with thoughtful gestures like small gifts, handwritten notes, or planning special dates. Remember important dates like birthdays and anniversaries, and make an effort to celebrate them.

Shared responsibilities

In a modern relationship, responsibilities are typically shared. Help with household chores, cooking, and childcare as needed. Be a team player and support each other in achieving your individual and shared goals.

Don’t make the connection all about sex

While sex is an important and fun part of dating and relationships, a gentleman doesn’t enter a connection pushing sex first. A gentleman doesn’t ogle his date nor does he compliment her solely as “sexy” or “hot.” Don’t turn every conversation into a sexually charged one, and not every texting session needs to lead to a sexting one.

You don’t ghost or cling

A modern gentleman doesn’t overstay his welcome, and will bow out gracefully if a connection is fizzling out. He won’t cling onto a relationship that’s no longer working or bother a woman after she’s told him they’re through. On the flip side, a true gentleman won’t leave a woman hanging either. If it’s time for a relationship to progress to the next level, he won’t hesitate to make moves. And if he isn’t feeling it, he will communicate his feelings and tell a woman that he no longer wishes to see her. A modern gentleman is honest and truthful, especially when the going gets tough.


Remember that being a modern gentleman is not about adhering to rigid gender roles but rather about being a respectful, considerate, and empathetic partner who values equality and communication in a relationship. Ultimately, the key is to treat your partner with kindness and respect while embracing the principles of modern dating and relationships.