Sometimes, a relationship can slowly start to dwindle and falling out of love signs can take a while to become clear. Once you realize the magic has begun to fade in your relationship, how do you know if you’re falling out of love or if it’s just a phase you’re going through? Deciding to leave a relationship or not is a tough decision. Sometimes it’s hard to tell whether you’re going through a rough patch or if you’re falling out of love entirely. But when things start to go awry, you may start looking for signs you’re falling out of love or signs someone no longer loves you.

There are indeed some ways to tell if your love for your partner is dwindling. From diminished communication to developing a wandering eye, keep an eye out for these tell-tale signs the next time you wonder if you’re falling out of love with your partner.

The signs to tell if you’re falling out of love

You feel apathetic and communication diminishes

One of the most important tasks of being in a relationship with someone is genuinely caring about their feelings and emotions. When you stop caring about them, the other person feels isolated and this makes it harder for the two of you to communicate. A good relationship is built on strong communication with active listening.

If communication between you and your partner diminishes, and you start to hide your concerns about the relationship or discuss your concerns with friends instead of going to your partner directly, you may need to re-evaluate the relationship. If you find your desire to share growing smaller and smaller to the point where you stop communicating with them altogether—also known as “stonewalling”—it’s a sign that your relationship is becoming irreparable.

falling out of love

You give (way too) importance to their imperfections and you criticize them constantly

Being in love with someone means you love all of their quirks too. In fact, a study found that small quirks can actually make a person fall deeper in love more than physical attributes can. But when your partner’s imperfections start making you more annoyed than charmed, it could mean you’re falling out of love.

Criticism that becomes pervasive in your relationship is another sign you’re falling out of love with your partner. Instead of being considerate of their feelings and expressing your disappointment in a respectful way, you assault their character every time they make a mistake or let you down in some way. It all comes down to whether you feel your criticism derives from not loving your partner or from some other internal psychological battle.

You start looking around

When you love someone, you can’t stop staring at them. It’s one thing to notice another attractive person, but if the streets suddenly seem to be swarming with potential lovers, you may be becoming curious about testing the waters with someone new.

This could be a clear indicator of the fact that you’re falling out of love. Even worse, if you are in a committed monogamous relationship and have fallen in love with someone else other than your partner, your relationship is definitely in trouble. Falling in love with someone else when you identify as monogamous is a key indicator that you have fallen out of love with your partner.

You see no future

A huge element of a successful relationship is the excitement of building a future together. If your partner stops becoming part of your vision for the future like they once were, that could be a sign you’re falling out of love. If you find yourself daydreaming about future vacations, or moving somewhere or a job and you don’t imagine your partner along for the ride with you, your relationship may not be destined for the long haul.

WE becomes I

A couple thinks of themselves as a unit, a singular entity. “We” bring a bottle of wine to a dinner, or give a gift together. “We” are typically invited together to events or go out. And, usually, couples represent themselves as a “we” unit. A sign of relationship breakdown is when partners start to speak more in “I” terms than “we” terms. “I am going to do something” is a clear sign that you have started to plan your life without your significant other.

You lack or avoid physical intimacy

Being in love with someone means you’re attracted to them, which leads to physical intimacy—so if you stop wanting to have sex, it could be a sign you’re falling out of love. However, when we’re physically healthy, and falling out of love, we stop feeling amorous—more like a friend and the sex falls off.