To have not just good sex, but to have great sex that completely satisfies your partner and yourself before, during, and after? Not all sex is good sex. The quality of intercourse varies with a number of factors, from mood to energy level to location. But striving to be better in bed — and improving your sex technique — is a noble pursuit. And a healthy sex life carries an impressive list of benefits for all parties involved — from heart health and a stronger immune system to longer, better sleep. The better the sex, the more plentiful these benefits.

Are you frustrated because your sexual performance isn’t where you want it to be? Are you having good sex, but wish you were having great sex? What makes a woman great in bed?

We have got the best tips from women to help you boost your confidence between the sheets, and be better in bed

better in bed

Masturbate

Don’t expect your partner to be a mind reader. Experimenting with self-pleasure is key to learning about yourself. Then, take what you learn from masturbation and communicate what you find with your partner. Your partner will be better at pleasing you if you can tell them what you like.

Identify your turn-offs

A lot of people fail to realize that one of the most important things you can do to be better in bed is to remove your turn-offs. What this means is that, instead of trying to find and add things that turn you on, it’s easier to remove things that turn you off. For example, if a messy house will stress you out, you’ll be more engaged and eager to participate if the house is clean, rather than if you’ve come home to rose petals on the bed. Making small changes by removing things that you don’t like can vastly improve your sex life.

Learn to communicate

Communication is essential to be better in bed, no matter what kind of sex you’re having. Being open and honest about your turn-ons and inviting your partner to do the same creates an erotic atmosphere that’s both sexy and trusting. There are no bad lovers, just bad communicators. Communicate what you like and don’t like during intimacy — and definitely don’t be afraid to tell your partner when something feels good or bad.

Learn to kiss

Full-on kissing boosts levels of dopamine in the brain, a desire-spiking neurotransmitter in both men and women. To get your other half going, try this piece of sex advice: trace their lips slowly with your tongue, or softly bite the edge of their lower lip with your teeth. But, before you think about putting this tip to the test during a steamy summer pool sesh, you might want read on and think twice before having sex in water.

Maintain strong emotional intimacy

The emotional climate of your relationship can have a huge impact on your sex life. If the relationship climate is toxic or negative in any way that will dramatically affect how you feel sexually.

Avoid the same old

According to a study, people who are curious and open to new experiences generally tend to report higher levels of sexual satisfaction and tend to be better in bed. Be open to new ideas and don’t be afraid to try new things with your partner.

Think outside of the bed

Fantasizing during sex or bringing fantasies to life can add some real interest to your sex life. A lot of people shy away from fantasy or feel guilty that they’re not as present with their partner as they think they should be. However, there’s nothing wrong with letting your mind wander. Fantasy is unique to humans and one of the tools you can use to make your sex life more exciting and be better in bed.

Do a strip tease

In a similar vein, go ahead and give your partner a little strip tease. If you’re a bad dancer, at least you’ll come off as endearing, but if you do in fact strip well, your partner just might want to pounce on you. Honestly, your partner is going to be turned on by you getting naked no matter how silly you feel. Sex isn’t always serious. It can be playful and funny while still being very orgasmic.

Wear sexy underwear

Sexy underwear is for everyone. If you find the right fit, you can really turn your partner on. Feeling beauty will make you more confident and be better in bed. More of a tighty-whitey type? Whatever makes you feel like a true sexual icon is the right way to go.

Give an erotic massage

If you’re going to have penetrative sex, start by giving your partner an erotic massage that both relaxes and teases them. Prior to even touching them, you’ll want to set the mood with lighting and music, and then go ahead and whip out the massage oil.