Everyone wants to keep the spark alive in a relationship.

When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, it’s natural to start asking yourself: How do I get the spark back in my relationship? What can I do to recover what we had? How can I maintain a bond with my partner if we have no passion in the relationship?

You don’t want to throw away everything you’ve worked so hard for – this is a person you love! So, how do you discover how to keep the spark alive, rekindle passion and restore what you once shared?

Passion is foundational to a satisfying and healthy long-term relationship. Although it may fade at different times in a relationship, there are things that you can do in order to reignite the spark. You need to understand that there are two different energies at play between a man and a woman – the masculine and the feminine.

If you’re feeling unsatisfied with the amount of passion you’re having in your long term relationship, and want to keep the spark alive, here’s what the experts recommend.


Make Time To Talk

If when you do talk, it’s small talk or basic discussions., then it’s time to take a moment to really have honest conversations about anything and everything. Find ways to reconnect by asking each other questions and getting to know one another again. Even if this means repeating stories you’ve already heard a million times over, do it! Enjoy hearing one another’s voice, seeing the smile of a good memory, the sorrow of a sad one. The point is to feel something and feel it together. Nostalgia is a great way to open the floodgates of a good conversation.

Physical touch

How to ignite passion in a relationship? Whether it is a kiss, long hug, or romantic night in bed, it is important to physically touch one another to keep a relationship exciting. Having a bath or shower together, giving each other a massage or snuggling up on the couch can make you feel closer and more connected. Sex doesn’t have to be the be all and end all, and focusing on other kinds of physical intimacy can help couples who are struggling with mismatched libidos. Being passionate in a relationship can be easy if you make some rituals and stick to them. Physical touch is definitely a great and essential way to let your partner know you care.

The six-second kiss

Give each other a six-second kiss hello and a six-second kiss goodbye whenever you’re coming and going. The simple practice of being more “present” when kissing your partner and kissing them for longer can boost feelings of connectedness and keep the passion alive.

Schedule a sex date

It might sound more like the way to approach your job than a means of spicing up your passion, but there are plenty of reasons to make regular appointments with your partner just to have sex. Whether sex actually happens is not the point, it is about being intimate together in a physical way, and making sure that happens. While many of us are happy to prioritise a date, which might include dinner and a movie, very few of us take the same approach when it comes to our sex lives. And the sad truth is, by the time we get home from a date night, we’re often too tired to reconnect with our partner physically. The point of a sex date is to set aside time where you and your partner can focus on being physical with each other.

Set the mood

In a long-term relationship, life is often busy and when things are rushed, it can feel weird to go from doing the dishes to making out with your partner. It’s important to ease the transition from daily life to couple time by ‘building bridges’ and creating an opportunity for intimacy to happen. This could include having a glass of wine or a cup of tea together at the end of the day, taking a walk after dinner or giving each other a neck rub while watching television.

Spice Up Your Sex Life

When you slowly start losing that spark you once had, both of your sex drives go with it. To reignite passion in your sex life and rejuvenate that sexual energy you and your partner had at the beginning of your relationship, you’ve got to spice things up a little. This means doing things you’ve perhaps never done before, like role play, being more adventurous, or using toys or oils.


Getting the passion back in a long term relationship is never an easy task. It’s good to be prepared for tough times ahead with hard questions being posed both out loud and in your mind. But if you truly want to get the spark back between you and your partner that you had in the earliest days of your relationship, you need to try. Getting back to a healthy, romantic relationship will take time and a recommitment to one another. A long-term relationship is worth fighting for, even if it takes a few months, and worst-case scenario, a few years.