Tips on having sex with a new partner
The first time you have sex with a new partner is always a nerve-wracking experience.
Meeting someone new can make you giddy with excitement – like text-all-your-friends, try-on-a-thousand-different-outfits and replay-every-smile-in-your-head giddy. The beginning of a relationship is filled with many romantic first time: your first date, the first time you kiss or the first time you meet the family – moments that you’ll quite possibly remember forever. But with these first time also comes unchartered (and sometimes a little daunting) territory, especially when it comes to being intimate with your new partner for the first time.
Having sex with a new partner can be exciting, overwhelming, nerve-wracking, thrilling, and so much more. Intimacy with a new partner can sometimes be awkward, but if you can relax and trust your partner, you’ll find the passion will guide you.
Unless you have a map sketched on your body and an instruction manual of where to go, the level of pressure needed, and a duration indicator, chances are the first time will mostly be an introduction to each other’s bodies.
If you’re feeling some pre-sex nerves, letting your new partner know can benefit you both. We suggest practicing your pre-sex conversation beforehand, or even having the conversation via text first if that helps. Many times people can feel scared or awkward in person. You can use text to discuss some of these things without as much worry.
Whether you want to reward a new partner for his efforts, or it’s been quite terrible and you want it to end, please do not fake it. If you’re going to see this person again, he’ll think he’s got the winning formula to getting you there and you’ll only have to fake it again. Even if you won’t so him again, remember that selfishness in bed never deserves an ego stroke.
Sticking to the theme of pleasure, what you put on your body before having sex with a new partner can contribute to your overall comfort level. We suggest going to the max when it comes to things that make you feel good. Use your favorite conditioner that makes your hair smell great; use whatever products make your skin feel soft and glowy. Take part in all of the senses that you have access to.
Protect yourself during sex, especially when you’re having sex with a new partner. From a purely practical standpoint, bringing protection with you to any new encounter is a must. Everybody’s orgasm is their own responsibility, and everybody’s reproductive health is their own responsibility. But whether you’re on the pill, have an IUD, or using a patch, bringing additional birth control methods with you never hurts. As much as you want to trust that someone is being responsible for themselves, you can’t guarantee it.
There are tons of barrier method birth control options out there, including condoms that come in different sizes and textures. We recommend stocking up on a variety of them. After all, it’s tough to anticipate what a new partner likes or needs. This way, if you realize the condom doesn’t fit properly in the moment, you’ve got another option to try.
No matter who you have sex with in real life, there will always been unsavoury noises, smells, and fluids all over the place that you don’t probably expected. Accept the fact that this happens, and deal with them in a way that doesn’t make your new partner feel abnormal.
Sex with someone new (particularly if you’re nervous) might look a little different, and slowing things down can help. You might need to warm up a bit on your own first, or engage in some solo fantasy play. But you’ve got lots of options to try with your partner, too. Foreplay is a critical step to great sex. This can be lying in bed, stroking, cuddling, kissing, and caressing, or whispering all the nasty things you’re going to do to her when you’re finally be alone.
Conversation plays a big role for both men and women. A good conversation before and after sex is the key to peace, emotional intimacy and trust. Especially afterward, when the two of you have shared such a bonding experience, take the time to relax with your partner. There are few things more intimate in the world than good, after sex pillow talk.
Most importantly, remember to relax and have fun! Yes, the first-time with a new partner can be awkward and overwhelming, but first and foremost it’s exciting. Don’t panic if it doesn’t go exactly as you planned. Intimacy is full of surprises, and the best thing you can do when something awkward happens is to laugh it off – and keep on doing what makes you both feel good.