Most couples know what to say to their partners so as to persuade them for a sex romp. But what couples often don’t realise is the importance of feedback after sex that can bring them together, even after the act is over. It’s important for couples to relax after an exhaustive performance and nothing can be better than to converse with each other.

Telling your partner that a move they think is super sexy just isn’t working for you isn’t the easiest conversation to have. Physical intimacy usually means emotional intimacy, too, and while you definitely don’t want to hurt their feelings, you’d also really like it if they’d stop doing that one thing with their tongue. Or maybe you’d like to try something new between the sheets, but aren’t sure how to suggest it without coming across as overly pushy.

Here is how to give your partner feedback after sex in a positive way that will leave everyone feeling good—really good

Feedback after sex

Focus on the positive

Try couching your feedback after sex in positive terms to make it easier both to give and to receive. So instead of saying “I don’t like it when you kiss the front of my neck,” you could say “I love it when you kiss the back of my neck. It feels so good. Can you do that more?” Of course, there are times when clear, direct negative feedback is called for. When something crosses a line for you, just saying “stop” or using a safe word is a good way to go.

Do not over analyse

Yes, it’s a healthy practice to discuss your performance once you’re done with the act, but do not over analyse the sexual act too much. Also, if you felt your partner lacked somewhere, device a way out to tell them patiently, but never compare their performance with anyone else’s or else it will do more harm than good to your relationship.

Express sexual fantasies

After a steamy romp, almost all your sexual desires would have been fulfilled by your partner. So go ahead and utilise those intimate moments to give a feedback after sex and express more about your sex fantasies. It’s very likely that your partner, who is still sailing in that sexual mood, would listen to your fancies attentively.

It’s really not an easy task to talk overtly about your sexual fantasies, not even with your partner. So couples often look out for chances, be it during the foreplay period or during sex. But the most appropriate time would be after sex, as your partner is likely to be in a sexually charged up state of mind to listen to you patiently.

Show them how you do it

If your partner is struggling with something more complicated than can be communicated with a simple “a little to the left,” such as not knowing where to even begin with a clitoris, try putting on a show for them. You can give them a feedback after sex showing them how you like to do it when you are alone. This will also be a learning opportunity.

Be direct but be kind

If couching it in positive terms and trying to reinforce the good with moaning just isn’t working, you may have no choice but to directly address the issue. Just keep in mind that most of us are sensitive when it comes to sexual performance and would be hurt and embarrassed to hear we weren’t pleasing our partner, so try to give as much positive feedback after sex as possible.

Appreciate each other’s body

Remember that your partner loves being appreciated, not only for their sexual moves, but for their physical appearance and body as well. The feedback after sex is an apt opportunity to compliment your mate’s body. Telling your mate about the heavenly feeling you get while touching their body and also passing naughty remarks on their curves will surely pamper them.

Since sex is all about physical touch, try and utilise these after-sex minutes to say good things about each other’s body. This would create a better comfort zone, bring about a feeling of reassurance to your mate that you like their body and it will make the art of undressing an easier task, as your partner will be more confident about their physical self.

Exchange expressions of love

You’d have said ‘I love you’ to your lover many a times but saying these words right after a sex quickie holds a special place. Verbal or physical gestures like hugging and cuddling, any expression of love can act as a catalyst if expressed at the right time. Once you’re done with a sexual session, whispering some sweet nothings into your partner’s ears can make them feel extra special.

Exchanging expressions of love is a sure shot way to enjoy passionate moments with your partner. After enjoying sex, most partners fall asleep without even realising once that their mate might be longing for some loving gestures. So make the most of these special moments and indulge in a quick conversation.