At this point, it’s pretty obvious that “self-care” has become one of the hottest buzzwords on the internet. That said, in the myriad of activities that fall under the self-care umbrella, sexual self-care practices are too often thrown to the wayside. 

Furthermore, what even is sexual self-care? No, it’s not v-steaming (jury is still out on that one), nor is it given your vagina a face mask. Sexual self-care is understanding your sexual needs and desires and making an effort to understand and check-in on your sexual preferences. It also includes doing things to proactively nurture and sustain your sexual health. Below are some of our top tips for maximizing and prioritizing sexual self-care. 

Here are some of the best rituals of sexual self-care you absolutely should follow

sexual self-care

Establish a routine

Whether you’re trying to sustain a meditation practice or a workout regime, routines have been proven to help folks stay on track with their goals. And so it makes sense to incorporate a ritual (even a small one) in order to prioritize your sexual self-care. This could look like setting aside 15 minutes every day for a sensual shower or masturbation session.

Maybe you take a look in the mirror and practice positive affirmations to help you navigate through insecurities. In any case, making time each and every day to practice sexual self-care can leave you feeling empowered and pleasured. 

Pamper yourself

Looking and feeling good is all a part of sensual self-care. Pampering yourself could mean going to the spa for a mani-pedi, making time for a facial or doing some “ladyscaping.”

Give yourself an oil massage

Did you know that the sanskrit word for “oil” is also the same word used for “love?” Self-massage with high quality, organic oils like sesame, jojoba, safflower or coconut oil can help the body release internal toxins, decrease the effects of aging, calm the nerves, lubricate the joints, increase stamina and soften the skin. Warm the oil first, then massage it into your skin starting at the top of your head with a scalp massage.

Work your way down the body using longer strokes on your limbs and shorter, circular motions on your joints. Finish with a foot massage and allow the oil to absorb into your skin. After your massage, you should take a warm bath or shower and allow your body to air dry for best results.

Do your kegels

Consider the kegel like a yoga class for your genitals—seriously. When you practice kegels, your pelvic floor muscles become stronger and you become more mindful about your sexual pleasure. This is important because over time–or due to circumstances like pregnancy, childbirth, or weight gain–the pelvic floor can weaken, leading to discomfort or even urinary incontinence. 

Enter the kegel. Kegels are great to improve blood circulation to the pelvic floor, increase arousal, and strengthen your orgasms. (We like that.) And contrary to popular belief, kegels are not just for women and vulva-owners! Men can do them too. For all genders, start by making sure your bladder is empty, then sit or lie down. Tighten the pelvic floor muscles, then hold tight and county for 3 to 5 seconds. Relax the muscles and count for another 3 to 5 seconds. Repeat 10 times, three times a day! 

Think proactively about your health

We’d be remiss not to include the health portion of sexual health here. Whether we’re talking about testing for or avoiding STIs, proper hygiene, or general safer sex practices, an ounce of prevention always beats a pound of cure.

Communicate your health-conscious decisions with your partners and make sure you’re both on the same page. Don’t ever be afraid to ask someone about STIs or how to utilize condoms, but avoid using words like clean or dirty as they contribute to certain stigmas associated with STIs. Trust us, when you’re confident you’re doing what you can to stay healthy, you’ll be able to enjoy sex without stress, which is definitely a form of sexual self-care.

Get regular check-ups

While we’re on the topic of protecting yourself sexually, be sure to get your parts checked out! Regular check-ups with medical professionals are a crucial aspect of maintaining sexual health and therefore a great way to practice proper sexual self-care.

Prioritize pleasure

One of the best ways to practice sexual self-care? More masturbation. And if you’re thinking, but I already have a great masturbation routine, consider mixing it up! Trying a new method means learning about your body and your desires, which is a great way of caring for your sexuality.

At the end of the day, the most important thing you can do to practice sexual self-care is to make time for yourself and your sexual self. Recognize that sex is an important part of our lives and that you deserve to feel seen, understood, and educated when it comes to your sexuality.