Excuses for condom usage and their answers
Whether you are experienced or not, you've probably heard all kinds of things about condom usage and sex.
People are always complaining about condom usage. They say that they are uncomfortable, destroy an erection and get in the way of intimacy and feelings during sex. Others feel that if they ask their partners to wear a condom it means that they do not trust them or indicates promiscuity. If your partner is averse to condom usage and uses it as an excuse not to wear one, unfortunately, you are not alone.
Condoms significantly reduce the chances of contracting sexually transmitted diseases and prevent pregnancy. Therefore, it is important to find a way to change your partner’s mind. Speak with your partner about the risks of unprotected sex and what needs to be done in order to protect yourself and one another.
A study published that pulling out, otherwise known as the “withdrawal” method, has comparable effectiveness to condom usage in preventing pregnancy. For reference, withdrawal is the man [withdrawing] his penis from the vagina when he feels he is about to ejaculate, or before he reaches that point. He ejaculates, or comes, outside the vagina, being careful that semen does not spill onto his partner’s vulva.”
Withdrawal requires the receptive partner place all of their trust on the insertive one. While there is no shame in embracing consensual sex with people we haven’t known for a long time, it’s not a good idea to give that person so much unilateral power and responsibility over the method of contraception.
It may well be that the individual is telling the truth. It may also be that that person does not know their own status. The American Sexual Health Association estimates that half of sexually active adults will contracts an STI in their lifetime, and many exhibit few if any symptoms until long after they’ve gotten it. When used perfectly, external condoms are estimated to be 98% effective to prevent an STI.
Every major manufacturer sells a non-latex variety of their condoms. Non-latex brands are just as effective and affordable as their more mainstream varieties.
The pill, as well as non-oral medical contraceptives like the Nuva Ring or an IUD, is statistically even more effective in pregnancy prevention than condoms when used correctly. Setting aside all of the arguments in regards to STI-prevention (which still valid here, by the way), consider that by combining oral contraceptives with condom usage, effectiveness jumps to 98.7% even when used imperfectly (99.99% with perfect use).
This is a tricky one as condoms are one of the more affordable means of birth control. That said, personal economics are just that: personal, and unique to you. There are other means by which condoms can be acquired. Local clinics, and hospitals regularly give out condoms for free, no questions asked. There is also no shame in sharing the costs of birth control between partners, regardless of which is “using” the product. A small bit of research, legwork, and communication goes a long way.
We get it. There’s a weird coating of chemical-based materials interacting with our most private and sensitive materials. What’s more, frequent sex with condoms, especially if done without extra lubrication, can cause micro-tears in the vagina or anus. The solution is not avoiding condom, however. Discomfort can be lessened by proper condom usage.
Additional lubrication is HIGHLY recommended. Biologically, our bodies were never designed to deal with the wonderful invention of contraception. Condoms can chafe and create resistance, but a drop or two of lube inside the reservoir and a liberal amount on the outside can almost entirely eliminate this issue. Try a few different styles, brands, and flavors to see what works best.
Whether slow and passionate or animalistic and intense, sex is an experience—it’s the most natural act in the world. And how can you keep that going if you need to stop in the middle to roll on a condom? The answer, plainly, is just doing it. A pair of mature adults can handle the pause it takes to roll one on. Keep condoms nearby and practice to get them on quickly and without incident if you must. Do whatever it takes. A moment’s awkwardness can save everyone involved a lot of trouble later.
In plain language, this type of declaration is never acceptable. It is a form of emotional abuse and, beyond making the sexual encounter inadvisable, it’s the sort of red flag that should signal second thoughts about the relationship’s health and/or if it should be continued.