From love, excitement, and tenderness to longing, anxiety, and disappointment—the reactions are as varied as sexual experiences themselves. Many people out there dream of having a better sex life for most part of their lives.

If you’re coupled and stuck in a sexual rut, you’re not alone. While dry spells are a normal part of any relationship, it’s still no consolation for couples experiencing one. Familiarity is the death of the sex drive – the more we get used to someone, the less exciting sex becomes.

The physical transformations your body undergoes as you age also have a major influence on your sexuality. Declining hormone levels and changes in neurological and circulatory functioning may lead to sexual problems such as erectile dysfunction or vaginal pain.

Such physical changes often mean that the intensity of youthful sex may give way to more subdued responses during middle and later life. So looking for ways to get a better sex life becomes the priority.

Here are some easy strategies to help yourself to a better sex life

better sex life

1 – To have a better sex life, start with yourself

Having a better sex life is easier now than ever before. Revolutionary medications and professional sex therapists are there if you need them. But you may be able to help yourself to a better sex life by making a few adjustments in your lovemaking style. Keep reading to find some useful tips, but remember to be willing to change.

2 – Liberate your body’s energy in a new way

Go dancing or try yoga to have a better sex life. Once you affirm your connection with your own body, you can affirm your connection with your partner’s body. One survey found that coupled but sexually inactive people were prone to feelings of sadness and felt unattractive. Reclaim your sexual power by finding new ways to move and get comfortable in your body.

3 – Educate yourself to a better sex life

Plenty of good self-help materials are available for every type of sexual issue. Browse the Internet or your local bookstore, pick out a few resources that apply to you, and use them to help you and your partner become better informed about the problem. If talking directly is too difficult, you and your partner can underline passages that you particularly like and show them to each other.

4 – Communicate with your partner and find the right time to talk

There are two types of sexual conversations: the ones you have in the bedroom and the ones you have elsewhere. It’s perfectly appropriate to tell your partner what feels good in the middle of lovemaking, but it’s best to wait until you’re in a more neutral setting to discuss larger issues, such as mismatched sexual desire or orgasm troubles.

5 – Work on your mind and notice your thoughts for a better sex life

If your brain is running a feedback loop of reasons you’ve picked up along the way — about how you should feel guilty about sex or maybe that your body is too fat or ugly or, well, whatever — it’s time to stop it in its tracks. Recognize the thought when it appears and change it to a more helpful one.

This helps your sex life because people with more open attitudes about sex are better able to explore their sexuality without guilt.

6 – Practice mindfulness

It may seem like sex is the ultimate practice of mindfulness, and while orgasm pretty much is, you may become distracted by random thoughts in the time leading up to that orgasm. Keeping your attention on what you’re doing and feeling is a powerful way to enhance your pleasure.

7 – Exercise regularly

You may not think that the exercise you do for your heart and muscles is important for good sex, but remember that blood flows to your genitals as much as to your heart.

8 – Try aphrodisiac foods

Food and sex are two basic human needs. It’s no surprise that people like to combine these two for added pleasure. An aphrodisiac is any product that stimulates and increases libido. Chocolate, oysters, avocado, red pepper, ginseng, honey, strawberries, and nuts are considered the best aphrodisiac foods.

9 – Try some “dirty talk”

The sexiest organ in our body is the brain, and it is where sexual desire originates. This is why “dirty talk” or talking about sex in a coarse or obscene way is so arousing.

10 – Make dates

Make a date for sex. Don’t let it be an afterthought. Do whatever you like to do beforehand, go to a movie or dinner, take a walk, have a glass of wine by candlelight, whatever the couple likes to do as a couple. But set aside that time.

11 – Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing

How often “should” you have sex? There’s no answer to that. Stop trying to decide how much sex you should have by comparing your life to other people’s and decide how much you want.