Are you both wondering what you’re missing and how the heck you got there? “Bad sex” can mean different things for different couples, just as “good sex” can, too. So what is good sex vs bad sex?

First off, bad sex for one couple, ironically, could be great sex for another. The beauty of sex (and sometimes its downside) is that both partners need to feel regularly satisfied for it to exit the ‘bad’ category. So what should you do if you are feeling you are having only bad sex lately? If your first thought was, “I guess we should just break up,” hold on for a minute. We are here to help. We have collected some of the things that most women see as bad sex, so you can adjust your performance accordingly. Thank us later!

Here is the list of what women see as bad sex

bad sex

Whether it’s too quick, too long, there’s bad music in the back ground, or it ends in a sex-related injury, having bad sex at some point is inevitable. While it would be nice to think that every time you go to bed with someone, it’s going to blow your mind, that’s not how life works.

No foreplay

If the man is lying there waiting for the woman to blow him and ride him, but can barely be bothered with foreplay, this is bad sex. A battery-operated device would be preferable for a woman compared to a non-mutual intercourse. Without adequate foreplay, a woman isn’t at peak arousal, so for 57 percent of women to call sex bad because the foreplay was either too short or totally skipped right over, makes total sense.

While most of us—regardless of gender—want more foreplay, foreplay is something that is especially important for women’s sexual pleasure and satisfaction for a few reasons. For one thing, foreplay allows more time for arousal to build and for vaginal lubrication to increase, thereby creating conditions for more comfortable sex.

For another, women take longer to reach orgasm on average than men, so a longer foreplay session is a great way of helping to ensure that everyone orgasms in the end.

“He” expects “her” to blow him, but won’t return the favor.

Giving another person pleasure can itself be pleasurable, sure. However, this entirely changes when the person is selfish or too lazy or disinterested in the other person to try to please her too. This alone can be a huge red sign for bad sex for a woman.

Sex ends when he comes

In any aspect of a romantic encounter, only thinking of your own needs will backfire tremendously. This is especially true of your most intimate moments together. Want to know one of the fastest ways to make your girlfriend or wife think she’s having bad sex? Assuming sex is over as soon as you climax. Sex ends when both parties are fully satisfied.

Bad hygiene

While both men and women can and do experience disgust, research tells us that the bar for women is set lower than it is for men. This suggests that, when it comes to sex, women may be a bit more sensitive to things like poor personal hygiene and this leads no doubt to bad sex. Of course, “bad hygiene” is a subjective thing, and different people may find different things to be a turn-off. This is why it’s important to not make assumptions and to figure out what your partner does and doesn’t like.

Lack of communication

Failing to communicate with your partner is one of the easiest paths to bad sex. Communication is key in all things sex. Sexual fulfillment isn’t automatic, and you can’t expect your partner to read your mind.

Make an effort to talk to your partner about intimacy issues. This starts by getting comfortable talking about sex. A lot of us don’t have practice with this, so start off easy.

Not having an orgasm

While not having an orgasm sucks, it doesn’t have to be the main goal when having sex. Focusing on the orgasm being the required outcome of sex is potentially damaging. When we place the focus of sex on the orgasm, it sets us up for failure. However, 44 percent of women will call sex bad if they don’t climax.

Although bad sex can feel like a ‘failure’, you don’t have to look at it that way. Rather, view it as a learning opportunity—a way to become better at sex.

Bad sex allows you to notice what’s wrong so you can work towards a solution. Ironically, in all areas of life, ‘failure’ is a part of success. It shows you what you need to do specifically in order to improve.