For many people, sex is mainly synonymous with penile-vaginal intercourse. Yet there are many ways to have sex. There are also several ways to have lesbian sex, which can involve a variety of techniques, including oral sex, fingering, and the use of sex toys.

Lesbians have great sex, and we have the data to prove it. Research published in the journal Archives of Sexual Nature found that while straight people have sex more often, lesbians report having far more orgasms — 86 percent of the time — compared to their heterosexual counterparts, who orgasm only 65 percent of the time.

But how do we have this earth-shattering, orgasm-giving sex? It’s not justabout oral sex— though there’s plenty of that, too. To avoid the dreaded “lesbian bed death” thought to come with long-term relationships, lesbians have to get more creative with our sex positions to keep things exciting. Lesbians do more than go down on each other. Your tongue is not the only tool you can put in the box. You’ve got fingers, dildos, vibrators, and in case of emergency, fruit.

Here are some of the best lesbian tips you can incorporate into your sex life to keep the passion flowing.


Communicate… constantly

Unfortunately, lesbian sex encounters don’t come with an in-built map: it’s up to you and your sexual partner to have the conversations and set the groundwork. So, once you’ve brushed up on some basic lesbian sex tips, simply talking dirty beforehand is a great way to establish what you both do, and don’t, want to try with each other. This is a great way to establish boundaries but also to get creative and explore together.

What to do during lesbian sex? Never be afraid to say that you’ve changed your mind about something – and always listen carefully to what your partner says, too. Following your intuition, and each other, is a crucial part of enjoyable lesbian sex.

Kiss your girlfriend

Start kissing slowly. Lean in closely. The hottest part of a kiss is that moment just before it happens when you know you are about to start kissing. Stay there. Let the tension build. Make her come to you.

When you are ready to kiss her, keep your lips soft and limit the tongue action at first. Let the excitement build. Close your eyes and think about the feeling of her mouth on yours. Think about the sensation of her lips and tongue. Pay very close attention to her movements. Mimic her moves. Does it feel like she wants more? Is she leaning in closer and kissing you more aggressively? Go for it.

Masturbation makes perfect practice

If you want to swot up before the big event, there’s no better way to get some practice in than masturbation. If you’re a regular wanker, great. If not, perhaps now is the time to learn how to masturbate like a pro, to give yourself some pointers. Don’t freak out if it doesn’t work for you – solo sex isn’t for everyone.

Another good way to learn more about lesbian sex, vulvas, vaginas and clitorises, is by putting a mirror between your legs and having a look for yourself. People’s vulvas vary in appearance (so don’t be shocked if your partner’s doesn’t look much like yours at all) but delve a little deeper and you’ll find the important bits are generally in a similar area.

Giving oral sex

In lesbian sex this can be the hardest aspect of girl-on-girl and vulva-on-vulva sex to give clear, one-size-fits-all advice on – sorry! Again, starting slowly and building up from there is a good course of action. If they’ve given you the go-ahead, gently part their outer labia and lick up from the vaginal entrance to the clitoris.

Lick up and down the labia. Focus on the clit and licking around it with a circular motion. Vary the pressure. Inserting a finger (if your partner is OK with that!) at the same time adds an extra frisson for some. Trial and error is often the best plan before you work out what everyone is into.

Use accessories and stay safe

Remember it is still possible to catch STIs while having lesbian sex. This type of sex can transfer bacterial vaginosis, oral herpes, HPV and, more rarely, trichomoniasis and hepatitis. In short, it pays to be safe. For safer oral sex, little squares of latex called dental dams can be placed over your genitals.

Handy hint: a slit open condom works just as well. For responsible fingering, grab yourself some latex gloves or “finger cots” which cover your individual fingers but not the entire hand. You can get some awesome flavoured dental dams which taste great while keeping you protected.