A badass relationship is one where we are not threatened by our partner’s power, talent, skills, intellect, or success. We want our partners to grow, flourish, and just generally kick ass in this lifetime. We see the potential in our partner and we fan the flames to have them burn bright and be fully empowered in whom they are.

We have two choices when in a relationship: we can use the energy and power that is cultivated between us to drag each other down, or we can build each other up. If we drag each other down, it’s because we are letting fear and insecurities win. They are steering the direction for where the relationship is heading, which is usually hell. When we build each other up, we’re confident and whole enough to utilize the relationship towards each other’s freedom.

Below are five tips to have a badass relationship.

badass relationship

Leave your ego at the door

This tip goes for both partners, but when we come into a discussion with our ego’s strapped on, we set the other person up for failure immediately. Especially if they say something wrong.

Be on a Mission Together

Together, the relationship is focused on creating, building, and growing. Sometimes we can hide from our own desires and dreams behind our partners, or fall into roles that keep us stagnated in growth because we are living out conditioned and unconscious behaviors. It is true that we are attracted to partners that complement us.

For example, their strengths are our weaknesses, and viceversa. However, badass relationships don’t just settle for the other half fulfilling the roles where the other struggles more. Instead, they help and teach each other to grow so they can become more whole. Follow our tip if you want the other partner to be more self-sufficient and strong.

Talk about Sex

It’s devastating how normal it has become in relationships to hide our sexuality from our partners. Swirling pools of taboo, shadow, and mysterious sexual realms exist in our partners. However, most would rather protect the other from the truth than embark on a sexual journey with one another. It’s time we throw out the old script of how relationships should be and start being  honest and real with each other.

This includes talking about secret desires including queer fantasies, role-play, BDSM, tantric sex, and orgies. Don’t let any area be too taboo and dark to communicate about, and you will appreciate one of the most important badass tips to tun an healthy and badass relationsip.

Be Clear About what You want to Express

Badass relationships have far too much attention and care put towards building something great in the world to waste energy on drama. They don’t play games with each other out of insecurity. These games are actually power plays to have someone feel in-control and safe, when the controlling partner is actually powerless and scared. Badass relationships do just the opposite; they are so confident in who they are that they want to see the other partner have more power.

Games are just manipulative defense mechanisms to protect your heart. It takes courage and strength to be vulnerable in a relationship, to let go of the power games and show when you are hurting, scared, and need help.

Be brave enough to show you are scared. Be confident enough to reveal when you insecure. Be independent enough to show you need help. These are true signs of being badass. When you’re feeling disconnected, a courageous act of saying something vulnerable will break the icy wall and bring each other back together again.

Your Partner is Not Your Therapist

Yes, we want a partner that will support and love us in the messiest and most painful of moments. Of course, it is impossible to not step into a relationship with past wounds and emotional baggage. However, it is not our partner’s job to heal us.

They can support us as we seek healing for ourselves, but we are draining the life out of any relationship if we cling to our partner to be the one to save us. The best tip we can give here is do your own personal work and practices to take the weight of responsibility off of our partner.

Stop Taking Things So Seriously

Yes, love is painful and we risk having our hearts broken and shattered into razor-edge pieces on the ground. Yes, we will all die one day and our lovers can breathe meaning, life, and poetry into our eternal souls within our short human existence.

However, it would probably do us all good if we took a deep breath, let problems go, and started having a little bit more fun. The saga of our lives and relationships can be exhausting. Play is the anecdote to rejuvenating life, youthfulness, and passion into your badass relationship.