There are many challenges in a relationship, but one that changes the entire dynamic is infidelity. All too often, cheaters are discovered completely by accident. However, there are a few red flags that point toward infidelity in a relationship. See if your partner is guilty of any of the following behavioural changes or curious actions.

These actions can be the clear sign of an unfaithful partner


Secretive phone or computer use

Cheaters tend to use their phones and computers more frequently than before and to guard them as if their lives depend on it. An unfaithful partner makes it a priority to cover up their tracks. Going to great lengths to get privacy, especially when your partner was previously much more open about things, is a major red flag. If your significant other is suddenly hiding their phone screen from your view, locking doors to the rooms they are in, or suddenly starts deleting texts and clearing their browser history on a daily basis, that’s not a good sign, and they might be guilty of an affair.

They change and dress up

Cheating is stressful, and that stress often manifests itself through sudden personality changes. If your partner is not acting like themselves, it might be time to start asking questions. It is pretty common for an unfaithful partner to suddenly become more angry, negative, critical, or even unusually cheerful.

Changes do not happen just on the inside, though. Your partner may also change how they look, how they dress, or even how they talk. When someone cheats, they tend to go into dating mode. Think of how most people act when they are trying to attract a partner. You know, new clothes, new haircuts, new cologne, etc. If your partner takes a new interest in their appearance for no reason, they may be trying to catch the eye of someone else.

They are suddenly unreachable

If your partner is unfaithful, they are less likely to answer your calls and respond to your texts, if your partner is unreachable while working late or on a business trip, that’s a bad sign. An unfaithful partner who is guilty of cheating will often try to find spare time in their day to spend with their lover.

Unexplained expenses

If you share a bank account and notice unexplainable transactions, it might be time to investigate why. Keep an eye out for transactions at restaurants, hotels, flower shops, or jewellery stores. Purchases made in these places while you are not around should encourage you to look deeper into the situation. While infidelity will be hard to prove if you keep your finances separate, watch for small clues like a change in spending habits or extra secrecy surrounding their funds. Infidelity costs money: gifts, trips, wine and dinners, hotel rooms, and the costs of cheating can add up very quickly.

They word off intimacy and sex

A partner who is getting all their intimate needs met elsewhere usually lacks the willingness to have them met where they’re supposed to. If your partner no longer expresses an interest in physical touches like handholding, kissing, or even sex, you are dealing with one of the major signs your partner is cheating. But also, an increased level of sexual activity in your relationship can be a sign of infidelity.

Less sex occurs because your partner is focused on someone else; more sex occurs because they are trying to cover that up. Another possible sign of cheating is that the sex you and your partner are having feels less emotionally connected. Yet another possible sign your partner is unfaithful is if they introduce new techniques and activities into your sex life. As much as you might enjoy that, it’s possible that they are learning new tricks outside of your relationship.

Often, the lack of intimacy goes beyond the bedroom too. If it is challenging to have a long, meaningful conversation with your partner or if they do not even want to be around you, it might be time to find out if they are meeting their needs for affection elsewhere.

Friends seem uncomfortable around you both

With infidelity, you, the betrayed partner, are nearly always the last person to find out. The unfaithful partner’s friends often know about the infidelity right from the start, and your own friends are likely to find out long before you do. This knowledge typically causes these individuals to feel uncomfortable around you. They might try to avoid you or to be overly nice to you. Your own friends may try to avoid conversations about your relationship, and they might overcompensate by being extra nice.

They avoid questions about cheating

If your partner is unfaithful, the absolute last thing in the world that they want to do is talk about it with you. So when you introduce this topic in conversation, they may try to deflect and avoid, this is not a good sign and they might be guilty of an affair.