The brain is the largest sex organ. Those who admit to being sapiosexual will say that they are turned on by the brain and tend to be teased or excited by the insights of another person. As foreplay, the sapiosexual person may crave philosophical, political or psychological discussions because this turns him or her on.

As sexual attraction remains a controversial mystery, the term ‘sapiosexual’ has been trending over the past few years, describing the predisposition of someone who is sexually attracted to intelligence. However, what is it really all about?

What’s more, you value beautiful souls over beautiful faces. Money and power have nothing on remarkable minds and thrilling personalities.

A sapiosexual values intellect over physical appearance.

Intelligence turns you on. Of course, the first thing you see in a person is their physical appearance. However, you go beyond that, and your main focus is on people’s intellect. If they lack intelligence, you won’t take them seriously, regardless of their looks.


A sapiosexual enjoys deep conversations.

One deep meaningful conversation means much more than a hundred small talks for you. The kind of conversation that stimulates your mind inspires you. This makes the person you are talking to utterly attractive.

A sapiosexual appreciates emotional intelligence.

You know the struggle someone has to go through to gain a certain level of emotional intelligence. That’s why you appreciate it so much. People with the most beautiful minds have learned most painful life lessons. Their strength to move on and use this pain in their favor definitely draws your attention.

A sapiosexual takes their time to get to know people.

People become more attractive to you with time. The more you get to know someone, the more you fall for their intelligence. And this someone might even be a person you weren’t into at the beginning. What makes others appealing for you is the way they see the world, and that’s why you need time to truly get to know them.

Sapiosexuals don’t believe in love at first sight.

For you, love-at-first-sight is almost impossible, because you can’t imagine yourself falling for someone only for their looks. You need to truly be impressed by someone’s mind before you catch feelings. That’s what’s slowing down the process of falling in love for you.

They are picky for their partners.

Your friends and family will definitely agree on this one. The people around you think you are picky because they don’t understand why it takes so much time for you to settle down. Their minds don’t work like yours, and they find this a bit odd. What they don’t really get is you need time to get to truly know someone until you let them close to your heart and your highly sensitive soul.

Material things don’t impress them.

While most of the people value money and possessions more than moral principles, you function exactly the opposite way. You don’t really care about the financial status of someone. You are more interested in the investments they make for their minds and souls.

They constantly crave new knowledge.

You aspire to anything that increases your intelligence and widens your horizons. That’s why you fancy people who constantly work on their self-growth, and are brave enough to welcome any challenge on their way. The perfect date for you would include a deep meaningful conversation, plus lots of eye-gazing and intellectual teasing. That’s why one-night-stands just don’t work for you.

They are great listeners.

Your listening skills are incredible. One of the things you enjoy the most is listening to someone’s wildest dreams and extraordinary thoughts about the meaning of life. Not only this helps you see various points of view, but seeing someone passionately talking about exciting and knowledgeable topics, makes you awfully attracted to them.

So after having evaluated the above we can say that… No, sapiosexuality is not a sexual orientation. Why? Because claiming only to be attracted to someone’s intelligence is not how a brain is wired. Why? Because intelligence varies and is also subjective upon personal interpretation. So, essentially, calling yourself a sapiosexual means … nothing to the person hearing it. Not only is sapiosexuality not a sexual orientation, it is also not a valid sexual preference.

This is where self-proclaimed sapiosexuals fall short — most of the time, what they, in an insufferably elitist manner, claim as intelligence is mostly just an intellectual or emotional connection with a potential partner. Meanwhile, almost everyone else is weighing up intellectual compatibility all the time — Can I talk to this person? Do we share the same interests? Would they be able to understand my point of view?

Evaluating these things don’t make you a high-brow, super-selective sapiosexual. It makes you human. Most people value intelligence — be it academic, emotional, what one calls ‘street smarts,’ or vocational; it hardly needs to become character-defining. And sapiosexuality, in actuality, is exactly that — a trait that’s less about a peculiar attraction to intelligence in others, and more about staunchly positioning oneself as someone not swayed by conventionally beautiful people, or not looking to have a mindless one-night stand.